


All for You

by Destiel_is_the_bestiel



Series: Destiel One shots [2]
Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean is adorable, Destiel Fluff, F/M, Fluff, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining Dean Winchester, Poem cuteness, Protective Dean Winchester, Smut, Top Dean Winchester, destiel au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 04:59:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16381895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiel_is_the_bestiel/pseuds/Destiel_is_the_bestiel
Summary: Dean is pining for his best friend Castiel Novak. He decides to write a poem. He talks to Cas, and then Sam gets involved and finds the poem, (I found it online, so credit is unknown) That's when everything happens, it's adorable. I know I'm shit at summaries but please give it a read





	All for You

Dean Winchester goes to The University of Kansas, he is 26 years old and his brother Sam is 22. Dean is a straight man, yep completely straight, but he has to admit that some men are hot. but no, he is straight and loves women. His father was an abusive, drunk, homophobic veteran. He would hit Dean, but Dean would always protect Sam, Sam didn’t deserve any of the pain. Even through all of the pain he went through, he would still always look for his father’s approval, even if he didn’t want to stay near him. Dean left with Sam when Sam turned 18, they went to college.

 

It was the first day of his junior year of college, Dean walked into the classroom, his eyes immediately drawn to the blue eyes across the room, he didn’t realize he was staring until the teacher said something, “Mr. Winchester, I presume? Take a seat next to Castiel Novak.” Dean walked over and pulled out his chair smiling wildly, he sat down and looked at the man he grew up with, “Hey Cas, I didn’t realize you were in this class!” Cas grinned at his best friend, “Yeah, it’s mandatory apparently.” Cas looked at his notes, “So Dean, do you need these?” Dean looked at the 3 pages of notes Cas was holding, “Nah, I’ll catch up.”

 

Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak have been best friends since they were 12. They met in 7th grade and bonded over deadbeat dads, Cas’ father was always out at bars, and Cas was raised by his older brother, Gabriel. Cas is openly gay at one point Dean’s father attacked Castiel, almost killing him, that was when they were in 11th grade. Castiel’s father did not attempt to protect him, he just told Cas to stop talking with Dean, which Cas clearly didn’t do. John, Dean’s father tried to force Dean to stop being friends with Cas, but Dean snuck out at night and met up with his best friend anyway, now that Dean is out of that house, he moved in with Cas in an apartment, they are college roommates and best friends, only friends.

 

After class, Dean headed back to their room, he needed to think. He wants to figure out how to come out; he believes that he is bi, but he wants to talk to Cas to get some help figuring it out. He goes to the desk and pulls out a journal, he starts to write a poem.

 

Dean closed his poem and put it in the drawer. A tear fell down onto the desk, he just realized that he was in love- The Dean Winchester- Ladies man- was in love, with his best friend no less. He went to his bedroom and removed his leather jacket, he climbed onto bed and decided to wait. About an 10 minutes later, Castiel entered the room, Dean hastily sat up, “Hey Cas.” Cas turned and saw that Dean’s eyes were red, “Dean, are you okay?” Cas walked over and sat next to Dean, trying not to get to close, because if he did, he wouldn’t be able to control himself. “Dean, what’s wrong?” Dean practically collapsed onto Cas’ shoulder, “No Cas, it isn’t, nothing is okay, I wanna start using again” The words trail off, turning into a whisper. “Dean, please tell me why. You’ve been clean for 3 years, why start again now?” Dean looked down at his faded scars, “I don’t want to talk about it right now Cas, I’m sorry.” Cas grabbed Dean’s arm and rubbed his thumb over the old puncture holes, “Dean, even if you don’t want to tell me why you want to use, just promise me one thing, you won’t do it.” Dean felt Cas press down harder on his arm, Dean’s vision got blurry and a single tear fell down onto his arm, “Okay Cas.” Cas looked up at his best friend’s face, he couldn’t help but stare at his lips, how much he wanted them pressed up against his own. How much he wanted to just pull him close and tell him that everything will be okay, how much he loved him. He reached an arm out and grabbed Dean’s shoulder, he pulled it in close and rested Dean’s head on his shoulder. He allowed Dean to cry into his shoulder for however long he needed. Dean let himself cry, he knew Cas wouldn’t judge him, but he still didn’t want to come out or whatever just yet. He didn’t know what to do, so he just cried, cried into Cas’ strong shoulder.

 

Dean stayed like that for almost an hour, with Cas just running his hand through Dean’s hair with his hand, whispering words like, “It’s okay Dean” and “Don’t worry, I’m here” Cas noticed that Dean’s eyes were closed and his breathing was slowed. He planted a soft kiss into Dean’s hair and laid Dean back, he tucked him under the covers, as he exited the room he turned off the light, “Good night Dean.” Dean rolled over, “Night...Cas” Cas’ heart dropped, had Dean felt the kiss, did he know? Cas rushed out of the room and shut the door quietly behind him. He went to his room and laid on his bed, letting sleep overtake him.

 

Dean woke up, under the covers, alone. Even if he didn’t want to admit it, he wishes Cas was next to him. He sat up and walked to the kitchen, Cas was making pancakes, “Hey Cas, need some help?” Dean wanted to ignore his breakdown from yesterday. He was embarrassed enough as it was, “No, I don’t. Are you okay Dean, do you want to talk about last night?” Dammit, Cas brought it up, “Sure Cas, let’s just eat breakfast first though.” Dean walked over to the fridge and pulled out a pack of bacon, he walked over next to Cas and tossed the bacon in an already heated pan, the grease instantly popped and hit Cas which elicited a yelp, “Oh shit, sorry Cas.”

 

Cas looked down at the grease burn on his bicep, it was only a small welt, “It’s okay, not a big deal.” Dean was already walking away from the freezer, carrying an ice pack, “Here, use this, I’ll finish up.” Castiel was about to argue but Dean was already stealing the spatula from his hand. “Fine Dean, just make sure to not burn the pancakes!” Cas was walking to the table and sat down in one of the chairs, he put the ice pack down, “Cas! Put that ice pack back on or so help me god!” Cas grabbed the ice pack and scowled at Dean. But as soon as Dean turned to him, his look softened, he could tell that Dean just wanted to help. Dean was angry at himself for hurting his best friend, and Cas could tell, “Dean, I’ll be fine, just watch the food.” Dean turned back and flipped a pancake, perfectly golden.

 

A few minutes and pancakes later, he brought a plate stacked with pancakes and a plate of bacon over to the table. He sat down opposite Cas, with the food in between them. Cas looked into Dean’s deep green eyes, “Dean, are you ready to explain?” Dean cleared his throat awkwardly, “Well, not exactly, but I shouldn’t keep it in, besides you are my best friend, which makes you the perfect person to talk to.” Dean started twiddling his fingers, he couldn’t look Cas in the eye. He started to tear up.

 

“So, how did you know you were into guys?” The words fell out of Dean’s mouth as if they’d been trapped, clawing to escape. When Cas heard them, he chuckled slightly, “Dean, you’ll feel more than friendship when you’re with them.” Dean looked confused, “Dean, do you like the way men look, or the way women look, or both?” Dean looked at Cas’ face, he just wanted to admire it all day. He then thought to previous girlfriends, he loved having sex with them and being with them, but he never really loved them.

 

He thought about the guys he knows, of course he’ll admit some look good, and the way their chests look. He couldn’t help but have his mind trace back to Cas. Cas Cas Cas. Everything is Cas, he looked up, and stared into Castiel’s bright blue eyes, “Cas, I can’t be gay, I can’t, my father, he- he’ll kill me-” Cas interrupted “Dean” He grabbed Dean’s shoulder, “Your father is an awful man, I have no clue as to why you always look for his approval.” Cas looked hurt, remembering the time that John put him in the hospital, “Cas, I’m sorry, you’re right, it’s not that I love him, or even like him, but he’s my father, I just  _ need  _ his approval, I don’t know why.” Dean looked down at the ground, “I’m sorry Cas, I know what he did, I know he hurt you, and I’ll never forgive him for it, but I can’t not care about his thoughts, even if  _ I  _ know he’s wrong. Just don’t hate me, please” Dean was afraid to look at Cas, afraid that Cas would be angry at him, hate him for not hating his father.

 

But when he looked up, he saw a look he was not expecting, a look of sorrow and empathy. He’s so glad that he has Castiel, Cas has never judged him or held his father's actions against him, “Dean, I could never hate you, especially for not hating your father, I could never ask that of you.” Cas reached up and wiped off the tear that was rolling down Dean’s face, Dean leaned into the touch without even realizing, “Thank you Cas.” Cas looked at the man in front of him, he thought about how much he wanted to kiss him, and placed his hand on Dean’s, “Cas” Dean whispered out breathily. All of a sudden Dean became overwhelmed with emotion, he wanted- no, needed Cas. He reached out with his other hand and placed it on Cas’ cheek, Cas just gave into the touch, basically melting. Dean sat up and leaned forward, closer to Cas. Cas could feel Dean’s breath on his lips, it sent shivers down his spine. Dean pressed his lips onto Cas’ softly, slowly, Cas gingerly returned the kiss. It only lasted a few seconds before Dean pulled away, a blush rushed up his face, he looked at his best friend, “I-I’m sorry Cas, I shouldn’t have done that.” Cas felt hurt, he stood up and walked over to where Dean was, he stood. Cas smiled at Dean, “Dean, I’m glad that you did that.” He placed a quick peck on Dean’s lips, quickly pulling away, “Cas, thank you.”

 

The men finished their breakfast, casually chatting as if nothing had happened. After they cleaned up, they decided to invite Sam to go out for dinner later, so that they could tell him what’s going on between them. But until then, they needed to talk, “So Cas, are we… dating or what?” Cas scoffed and looked at the floor, he was excited to be with Dean, but hearing the words were unreal. “We can be if you want us to be.” Dean chuckled, “Goddammit, stop being so adorable, of course I do!” Dean walked over and pressed their foreheads together, glad that he finally could. Dean pressed their lips together and started to cry, when Cas felt the tears he pulled away, “Dean, tell me what’s wrong” Dean smiled, “Nothing, nothing at all”

 

The weather was cold, and the electricity bill was expensive so they had the head on low. Before they meet Sam, they decided to watch some tv on the couch, cuddled up under a blanket, “So what do you wanna watch?” Dean asked Cas, “Honestly? I wanna watch “Orange is The New Black”.” Dean had his arm wrapped around Cas, Cas was comfortably curled up onto Dean. “Sounds good, what episode are you on?” Cas responded to Dean, “I’m on episode 8 of season 1.” Dean looked at Cas and pressed a kiss onto his forehead, Dean was an episode ahead of Cas, so he had no issue rewatching it. He rested his cheek on Cas’ head, inhaling. Cas smelt like pine and vanilla, even though it’s weird combo, Dean loves it.

 

Cas fell asleep around 3 episodes in, but Dean didn’t move him, he just sat there looking at Cas, tracing his finger around Cas’ arm, just relishing in the moment. He never thought he would be cuddling with his best friend, his  _ boyfriend? _  He never wants this moment to end. He pressed a soft kiss into Cas’ hair, a few minutes later, he fell into a deep slumber.

 

Both Cas and Dean woke up to a loud knocking at the door, Dean had a prominent mark on his face from Cas’ hair. Dean practically tumbled onto the floor, “Goddammit, we fell asleep. Sammy’s already here!” Dean didn’t even notice the mark on his face when he answered the door, “Heya Sammy.” Sam looked at him and pointed to his own chin, “Uh, you got a mark there” Sam looked Dean and saw Cas stretching with bed head. “Oh, C’mon in Sammy. You do realize you woke us up?” Shit! He just said that they were both sleeping, Sammy’s gonna piece it together.

 

Sam was excited to hangout with his brother because Dean is usually always with chicks so he didn’t even notice what was going on between Cas and Dean. Sam was hungry, “Hey, are we going to eat or what?” Cas stood up and walked over to Sam, “Hi Sam, I was thinking of the nearby diner, it’s cheap and delicious” Sam walked into the apartment, “Imma use the bathroom real quick.” Before Dean could point him in the direction, Sam already left the room.

 

Sam entered Dean’s bedroom, but instead of turning around he decided to snoop, he walked over to the desk and sat down. He started going through the drawers, he found a folded up paper, and picked it up.

 

Sam read it, and read it again, it had Dean’s signature signed at the bottom. He  _ had  _ to show Cas this, he stuffed it into his pocket and went back to the living room. “Hey, Castiel, can I talk to you in the other room?” Cas walked over to Sam, “Yeah” They entered the other room and Sam shut the door behind them. Cas squinted his eyes and tilted his head, “What’s wrong?” Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out the paper, “I found this in Dean’s room, he handed the folded paper to Cas. Cas took the paper from Sam’s hands, it had no discernable markings, “Sam, what’s this?” Sam lifted his hands and shrugged, “Just read it man.” Cas looked down at the paper in his hands, slowly he unfolded it and read it:

 

Cas,

I lay in bed alone at night and wonder why I’m here.

I do so much for everyone

Why don’t they show they care?

There is so much hurt I feel, so much anger trapped inside.

Sometimes I wish my dad was here, but to me, he’s not alive.

I have no one to talk to

These drugs seem to be the only way

Turns out it’s a lie just like the smile I put on each and everyday.

I know outside I’m smiling, It’s the face I fake for you,

But inside my soul is crying and there is nothing I can do.

I know my family loves me,

I’m there when their decisions are poor.

I’m sick of feeling like this walked on rug thrown upon the floor.

I lay in bed and wonder what the hell I’m doing here

Then I remember

It’s for you

All of it, for you

I love you

 

Cas knew that Dean cared for him, but he didn’t realize the entirety of Dean’s feelings. Dean loved him. Cas started crying, he didn’t know if he should talk to Dean about it, and if he was, how? He couldn’t look away, the poem was mesmerizing, Dean was a magnificent writer, and knowing it was about him just made him fall even more in love, Sam’s words snapped him out of his thoughts, “Cas. are you okay?” Sam’s look was soft and genuine, he really cared about Cas, he was like another brother to him. Cas smiled up to Sam, “Yeah Sam, I’m okay.”

 

Dean was sitting on the couch, sipping on a beer, Cas entered the room and sat next to him, “Hey Cas, are you guys ready to go?” Then Dean looked up at Cas, he had bright red eyes, “Cas, were you crying?” Cas slowly pulled the note out and watched Dean’s eyes grow wide, “Cas… You weren’t supposed to see that.” Dean lurched forward and tried to take the paper from Cas but when Cas pulled away the paper, Dean fell on him. Dean was laying on top of Cas, “Dean, I love you too.” Dean looked into Cas’ eyes and pressed their lips together, softly. Cas returned the kiss and licked at Dean’s lips, Dean opened his mouth and their tongues met, Cas savored every moment of it, inhaling Dean’s scent, enjoying the feel of Dean’s tongue on his. Cas pulled away and looked around the room, Sam was nowhere to be seen, thank god, “We can’t, what if Sam sees” Cas looked worriedly into Dean’s eyes, “Yeah, you’re right, we should go to dinner anyway.” Cas climbed off of Dean and adjusted his clothes so they looked normal. Dean stood up as well, they walked into the room Sam was in, “Sammy, let’s go!” With that, all three men exited the apartment.

 

When they entered the diner, they all noticed it was almost empty, except for a few couples and families scattered throughout. The three of them walked over to a booth, Dean and Cas sat on one side, across from Sam. They ordered their food, Sam got a salad and a water, Cas and Dean each got a cheeseburger, Dean’s had bacon, Cas’ did not. They sat in an awkward silence until Dean spoke up, “So, Sammy, we kinda need to tell you something.” Dean’s throat closed up as he said those words. Cas could tell and placed a hand on his leg, rubbing his thumb in circles. Cas decided to stay silent because this was Dean’s brother, not his. “Cas and I are...together.” Dean’s voice got quieter as he finished his sentence. Sam squinted his eyes questioningly, “Together?” Cas decided it was his turn to speak, he was always better with words, “Yes Sam, together. And no, not because of that poem, but it did help a bit.” The corner of Cas’ mouth curled up into a half smile, he felt Dean interlace their fingers under the table, he continued, “We already talked before you showed me the poem, but I’m glad you did.” He turned his head to face Dean, who gave him an awkward but warm smile.

 

“Alright lovebirds, enough. I kinda want dinner, so maybe save that till after.” Sam jokes. Dean crumpled up a napkin and threw it at Sam, “Shut up bitch” “Jerk” Cas wanted to pitch in, “Both of you assbutts shut up.” They went silent until Dean piped up, “Assbutt?” Cas gave him a bitchface, “Yeah, assbutt.” Dean laid his head on Cas’ shoulder, “Stop. Being. Adorable.” Sam just faked a gag.

 

After dinner, Sam went back to his apartment with his girlfriend, Jessica. Dean and Cas went back to their apartment, as soon as the door was closed, Dean grabbed Cas’ waist and brought him in for a passionate kiss, Cas pulled away, “Dean, believe me, I want this, I really want this. I have for a long time.” He emphasized the ‘really’, “But shouldn’t we talk first, about...everything?” Dean looked up into Castiel’s bright eyes. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Dean lowered his hand and slithered his fingers in between Cas’. He led Cas over to the couch and sat down next to him. 

 

“Dean, I’ve liked you for years, but I never thought that you would have felt the same way an-” Dean interrupted, “Cas, I’ve felt this way for so long, I just didn’t know what it meant. My fath- John, he completely warped my mind, I was told that being gay or anything like it was wrong, I was scared of him, what he would do. So I just denied it, to myself and to you and I’m so sorry for it. But I’m not afraid anymore, he has no control over our lives.” Dean was rambling, but Cas enjoyed the sound of his voice, “Dean, I’ve never been angry at you, especially not because of your father’s actions, so don’t apologize.” Dean looked down, “You know that’s difficult for me Cas, but for you, I’ll try.” Cas leant forwards and gave Dean a quick peck on the lips, “Dean, I will love you, no matter what.” Dean climbed on top of Cas, planting kisses all along his neck, Cas starts giggling, at the feeling of Dean’s lips on his neck, “Dean! Stop, it tickles!” Dean pulls his face back, he smirks down at Cas, “Oh  _ really _ , Angel?” He starts sucking at Castiel’s neck, “Argh! Dean stop or I’ll stop you!” Dean looks down at Cas, with defiance in his eyes, “Sure you will.” Cas raises both of his eyebrows and reaches tickles both of Dean’s sides. Dean collapses onto the floor, pulling Cas along with him, laughing so hard it hurts, “I did warn you, Dean Winchester.”

 

Cas wound up on top of Dean, on the floor, covered by the couch slipcover, laughing. “Cas!” Dean stared at Cas, admiring all of his features, the way his face curves when he smiles, or the way his eyes get 10 times brighter when he laughs. Cas stood up and reached his hand down for Dean to grab. Dean reached out and hoisted himself up, Cas was stronger than he looks. Cas wrapped his fingers around Dean’s bicep and brought him in for a long kiss, it was soft, slowly growing hungrier. Cas took a deep inhale, smelling Dean’s aroma, he smelled like crisp mint and laundry, Cas never wants to leave Dean’s embrace. Dean pulled away from the kiss and rested his head on Cas’ shoulder.

 

“Cas, I love you, so much more than words can describe, but I’ll try.” His words were cut off by Cas mouth crashing down on his, when Cas pulled away he stated, “Dean, you already have, I read your poem, and I’ve been your best friend for years. I know that you have a difficult time opening up and talking to people so don’t worry.” Dean was relieved that Cas understood him so well. “Cas, you are the only person in the world that knows me better than myself. I just wish I had realized how I felt earlier, because I’ve never been happier.”

 

Cas reached out and pulled Dean’s shirt up and over his head. Dean replied by pulling Cas’ shirt off and grabs Cas’ face with both of his hands and pulls it closer, he kisses Castiel tenderly, licking at his lip and Cas opens his mouth to let Dean’s tongue into his mouth, their tongues dance, switching in between both of their mouths.

 

Dean smoothly moves his arms down to Cas’ hip line, moving his hands to the buttons of Cas’ pants. Cas pulled away from the kiss and looked at Dean’s hands, then back up at his face, Dean looked worried, “Dean, are you sure you want this?” Dean felt relieved, then tensed back up, “Yes, do you?” Cas kissed Dean’s cheek, “I do, I have for such a long time, I just didn’t want you to feel rushed, or that you  _ had  _ to. I love you so much Dean.” Dean was so happy to hear those words come from Cas’ mouth, “Cas, you could never and I mean NEVER make me feel uncomfortable or rushed, I love you so fucking much it hurts, I’ve never felt this way about anybody, and I don’t ever want to be with another person, if it’s not you.” That was all Cas needed to hear, at this point, his chest was pounding out of his chest.

 

Cas lurched forwards and wrapped his arms around Deans neck He crashed his lips on Dean’s and their teeth hit together. Cas reached down to Dean’s pants and undid the button and zipper, Dean pulled back for a moment, “Let’s go to my room.” Cas nodded silently and followed Dean, hand in hand, to his room. Dean opened the door for Cas, and Cas walked in, Dean closed the door behind them and looked at Cas seductively, he walked over and pressed his lips against Cas’, he slowly pushed Cas closer to the bed, until Cas felt it behind his knees. 

 

Dean reached down and pulled Cas’ pants off and was left revealing his boxers, which were tight, concealing his boner, which only made Dean harder. Cas realized what Dean was doing and removed Dean’s pants as well. He never expected that he would get to do this with Dean, “Dean.” Cas leant back onto the bed and laid down, pulling Dean along with him, they were making out furiously, groins grinding. Dean reached down and removed his own boxers, revealing his cock, then he grabbed the side of Cas’ boxers and pulled them down slowly. Dean looked into Cas’ eyes, “Cas, are you sure?” Cas grabbed Dean’s bare shoulders and softened his look, “Yes Dean, I’m sure.” 

 

Dean reaches over to his end table and grabs the bottle of lube, he squeezes some onto his hand, he rubs some into Cas’ puckered hole and his own plump cock, hardening as he does. He places his hands on Cas’ shoulders and squeezes as he enters Cas. He moves slowly, afraid to hurt his best friend- or what is he now, boyfriend? He feels Cas stiffen up and grunt, “Cas, is this okay?” Cas quickly grabs Dean’s neck and pulls him closer for an open mouth kiss, wet, hungry, and sloppy. When he pulls away he presses their foreheads together, “This is perfect Dean”

 

After they finished their first time together, they laid on the bed, side to side. Dean spoke up, “Not to be all chick flicky, but, what are we anyway?” Cas chuckled, “Dean, if this is your way of asking, then yes, I would love to be your boyfriend.” Dean turned and rested his head on Cas’ shoulder, “That sounds nice Cas.” he pressed a kiss onto Cas’ chest, “I love you so much.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much! This was a one-shot. Comment if you want anything specifically written, lmk and I will.


End file.
